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By:
Harrison Maina | |||||||||
| Posted:
Sep,26-2018 12:56:00
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Orginally posted Saturday September 8. Updated Monday September 10, 11.30am. WORCESTER, Mass.,__Shock and alarm engulfed parents of the Kenyan youth in Boston during a community discussion on the rising rates of suicide and deteriorating emotional health, when many of the youth present expressed severe anger and outrage over the status quo. They called the new efforts "too little, too late" as some of them may be approaching a point of no return. Seething with anger, the youths blasted the existing tradition of the church-led community for suppressing the real cause of death when one of their friends passes on by regretfully taking their lives. Family dysfunction, excess control though forced career paths, loneliness and invasion of privacy by parents came out as the leading causes of emotional health problems among the youth in the discussions that Ajabu Media attended as an invited observer. However, the more than 200 parents, led by a panel of 5 experts in mental health, education, social work and nursing, fought hard to limit the apparent anger among the youth. They offered apologies for the years of inaction and neglect the community has accorded its rapidly increasing population of first generation Kenyan Americans coming of age. The crucial discussion was held at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Jane Kimani, founder of the Uhai for Life charitable organization that has been championing health awareness in the Kenyan diaspora community for many years. Uhai for Life teamed up with the New England Chapter of Kwitu Women's Group and the New England Chapter of the new Kenyan Men Association, KEMEN as well as another men association recently created by Kenyan men in Worcester. "We appreciate what you are trying to do to address this issue now but am afraid it's too late. This should have been done 15 years ago! Where have you been?" a 17 year old Kenyan-American boy thundered to the dismay of panelists moderating a group session for 13-17 year olds as they aired their grievances.
"My best friend recently died in Lowell and nobody would tell us why she died. All we heard was that it was a short illness and others said it was suicide, but no one came out openly to tell us why. I feel that the Kenyan community needs to tell the truth when one commits suicide," lamented a 16 year old girl from Lowell. The young Kenyan-American said that the tradition is a relic of their parent's previous lives back in Africa, which should be discarded in order to remove the stigma on families of suicide victims and for us. "Why is suicide not being treated as a serious problem by Kenyan parents and the whole community? We are always told when someone dies of cancer, accident, heart attack and other diseases. Its very wrong for one to lose a friend and then you are never told what the cause was.This is affecting all of us negatively," added the young Kenyan American whose name is withheld since he is a minor. She added that even in the USA, there is a continuing effort to encourage families and friends of suicide victims to speak up about their experience in order to help fight the associated stigma. Sunday September 9 marks the start of the National Suicide Prevention week in USA, an annual week-long campaign in the United States to inform and engage health professionals and the general public about suicide prevention and warning signs of suicide according to theNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline. As the debate progressed, more youth came up with shocking revelations of seething anger at the poor relations in their homes that could explain the rising suicide rates that have seen more than 5 Kenyans take their lives in Massachusetts and close to 20 across the Kenyan community in USA just within the past 12 months alone. A cultural clash between African traditional values and US cultural practices seemed to be the main bone of contention. Many youth lamented the severe friction in some homes caused by disagreements with parents. Whenever there is a difference of opinion with their parents, the youth said, they are threatened to be "sent back to Kenya." Others complained that Kenyan parents are fond of forcing their own career choices on their kids instead of letting them choose according to their interests. "My father wants me to be doctor. He keeps rubbing it in every day as if a doctor is God. I don't want to be a doctor, not everyone can be a doctor. I feel like I should be allowed to choose what I want to become," said a 15 year old boy fuming with rage. Shocked by the revelation, Dr. Mercy Kamau and Stella Adu-Gyamfi(a mental health specialist and US Army veteran from Worcester), who led the group discussion, apologized to the youth on behalf of the entire Kenyan community and pledged to do anything needed to make amends. She urged the youth to give parents an opportunity to make amends.
"This is the reason we needed to hear from you very much. We have listened to your problems and we admit we have failed you. I completely apologize to you on behalf of the Kenyan community for our lack of action. But please understand that suicide is not the solution to the different problems you are facing. We can help as long as you find someone to confide in," Dr. Mercy said. More shocking revelations came when the youth group was merged with the large group of parents waiting under a large tent nearby as they debated the crisis from their own perspective. "Many parents don't want to listen to the opinions of the youth. It's their way or no way. If you disagree, they tell you they will ship you back to Kenya. It's very upsetting and scary since we don’t know anyone in Kenya. All we know is America and our friends are here," said a 17 year old boy selected to report the youth group's findings. As the boy read through the grievances, consternation silence was evident on the faces of the parents present as they took in the unexpected news. However, uproar exploded among parents when the youths demanded freedom to choose whether to do their school homework or not.The parents stood their ground, indicating that their children don't have a right to choose skipping homework. "Even the American children in this country cannot choose to skip their homework. We agree that we have failed you on some things but doing homework is not one of them," protested a parent in the crowd. "We are working so hard to provide and pay for many things and in return you have to do your part by doing the best in school," added another. The youth also lamented the practice of some Kenyan parents of invading their privacy even after they have turned 15. "My mum is so nosy. She comes into my room all the time without warning and looks around everywhere. I feel like I don't have any privacy and it's very embarrassing," complained a 16 year old girl. Others complained that the parents are always at work and leave them with no one to talk to when they are troubled by some things. "My phone is my best friend coz my mom and dad are always at work. We are left alone for many days. And when I really get stressed out and no one to talk to, I call up my buddy to go play some basketball to forget about the issue," said another youth. The young Kenyans also decried the divisions in the Kenyan community in Boston terming them "very embarrassing."
"They keep talking about unity but there is nothing like unity. There are so many Kenyan groups in Boston and everybody is trying to do their little thing here and another one there. We never meet up like all Kenyans together and this is not good," lamented youths who spoke to the media on condition of anonymity. However, by the end of the 5 hour-long discussion, the Kenyan youth agreed to give their elders a chance to address the crisis through similar frequent discussions even in other cities. They also agreed to spread information among their peers that suicide was not a good choice to solve the challenging problems they are facing as they have seen the community is willing to step up and help them. Among other Kenyans making up the panel of experts heading the 4 hour discussion included Mrs. Anne Waiyaki, a Nurse Practitioner from Lowell, Isabella Gitau, a social worker, also from Lowell, Stella Adu-Gyamfi, a mental health specialist and US Army veteran from Worcester, William Thuo, a Nurse Practioner from Worcester (also a US Army veteran) and Dr. Mercy Kamau, a healthcare educator from Taunton.
This IS BREAKING NEWS. More to follow soon. | |||||||||
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Source:
AJABU AFRICAN NEWS
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